Let Go

Never have I been more clear about the issue, rather than holding on to a hopeless hope, wouldn't it be better to just let go of it? Rather then waiting for a miracle to happen, why not just move on with life and try to put the unhappy past behind, and search for another "miracle"?

Easier said then done...

It is indeed easier to advice others to let go of unhappy incidents and move on with life. Only when it comes to the self to deal the "killing blow", would one realised the difficulty in doing so. I finally know why a close friend of mine said I'm all talk... Looks like the "field" is indeed not a place for the faint & weak-hearted. In this case, me.

It doesn't help that I sucked big time when it comes to handling affairs of the heart.

She already made it very clear that I'm not the one she is looking for, to reinforced that point she is already attached now. Every time that she reminded me we could still be friends is like driving a stake through me... that we can only BE friends. I mean to me, she is already more then just a friend, at least to me...

If she is reading through this, I would like to apologized to her for being so cold. Every thoughts of her hurts me deep. It is closed to impossible for me to talk with her now, much less to see her face to face. I just hope that she can understand that I'm not shunning her on purpose, rather to convince myself to forget her.

Why should I still made the situation irreversible. In the worst case scenerio we can't even be friends anymore. Maybe what I'm doing is self decieving, but I would rather that she and I become strangers from now on. Perhaps by selfishly embarking on this path I can make it easier for me to bear.

I just wish she would forgive me on what I am doing and hoped that by doing so convince her to forget that unhappy incident too. But I guess I don't have to tell her that; she is not like me...