Reborn...

Reborn...

A word often associated with hopes, dreams, and most importantly, a new life. No, no I don't mean to literally die and be reborn. In this case it would be more accurate to describe it as leaving behind your old way of living and embracing an all-new, often better, lifestyle.

When I started my studies in the Polytechnic more about seven years ago, it seriously felt as though everything has started anew. My first attempt in my 'O's the previous year failed to land me in the Polytechnic due to poor Maths grades. Thus, I took another year to retake my 'O's Maths.

During that period of time, where juggling between work and studies took up most of my time, I thought that something had changed within me, that I have grown to become more responsible, more able to realised my priorities. That must have been the most fulfilling year in my 24 years of existence.

I realised for the first time how hard life can be to be in the social world. When most of my peers are already more than a year or so ahead of me, here I am still trying to gain entry into my desired higher level of study.

Things changes, however, when I finally passed my Maths and gain entry into the Polytechnic.

The complacency and "lazy-bug" rears its ugly head upon me again. I have gone back to the days during secondary school where I took things for granted. Those were the days spend indulging in pleasure and play, with almost no time dedicated to my studies and more healthy activities such as my favourite sport, basketball.

When I found out that I have been dismissed by the Polytechnic at the end of my fifth semester due to poor grades, believe me, that was the first time I felt so utterly crushed by defeat. Not by the Poly's decision, nor by the modules that I have failed to passed, but by myself...

I still remember when the result slip was mailed to my home, with one copy to my dad --- I wasn't home that day. When I return home the next morning, I found my dad's copy of my result slip crushed into a ball and thrown on my bed. That particular moment was one of the saddest and most dejected in my life, it finally dawned on me that I have failed in what I have tried so hard to work for...

The training and regimentation of Army life made me realised, once again, the harsh reality of life. When I was finally re-admitted into the Polytechnic after my national service, I made a promise within me that I will not let up on my studies again, no matter what.

However I realised I took too long to realised the importance of that, as a result opportunities that were once open to me had became even harder to access.

Let's just hope that this time round I have really been reborn...